I am a mushroom head

This week I am suffering as a result of (select one):
a. linguistic misunderstanding
b. lack of consumer assertiveness
c. cultural aesthetic differences
d. overzealous scissors
e. all of the above

I think the answer is E, but I'm still not sure.
I got a bad haircut.

Everyone's had one, or two, at some point in their lives.  I've had at least two in the last year. It's hard not to blame that on Germany. I don't know whether I got the bad cuts because I can't articulate what I want, or I don't know what I want, or that the hair stylists' ideas on what would look good are not the same as mine. True, the mullet is still hanging on in Germany. But most peoples' hair looks good most of the time. They apparently don't have the same struggles as I do.

I know I've written about my quest for a good haircut before, but this one merits another posting. It's short, and round, and very full-looking. If I was a 55 year old German supermarket cashier it would be the look for me.

I had my hopes up - I was trying a new salon that was recommended to me, and there was an English-speaking hairdresser there. It was a little more expensive than the no-appointment place I went to last time, but (so I thought) not much more expensive. Mistake number 1 - I didn't bring a picture. I let the hair stylist suggest something and, mistake number 2 - I trusted that she'd know what would look good on me. She also charged me extra for blow drying and styling my hair in a big poof so that I looked like a human mushroom. I was trying to convince myself it wasn't so bad when Brian came home and his eyes got really big while he tried to think of something nice to say.

If I don't blow dry my hair, it looks a little more normal. And it's getting cold enough to wear a hat too. Since I now look like someone who weighs your bananas and asks if you want a receipt, maybe I won't stand out as a foreigner. I am camouflaged. Especially since now that my hair's really short I will need to wear scarves to keep my neck warm. That's extra camouflage.

So I have resolved to go shoulder-length from now on. If none of the four different people who have cut my hair in Germany can figure it out, maybe that's a sign. The longer it gets, I figure, the less damage they can do. Yesterday I looked on the internet (where else?) for information about how to make your hair grow faster. There are tips on everything from taking Biotin and B vitamins to eating avocados to holding your head upside down for 30 seconds a day. I might try all of them. And I'll be bringing a picture along next time.