The anti-Barbie, or why you can't buy a tankini in Germany

Lammily

A couple of weeks ago at my international school job, another counselor showed me a doll she had just bought for her "future granddaughter". There's no baby on the way, but that hasn't stopped her from putting the pressure on her daughter-in-law and stocking up on politically correct toys and baby clothes that are not pink. This doll was no Barbie. It was a Lammily doll, sort of an anti-Barbie. She was modeled on the average proportions of an average teenage girl. She has small breasts and big feet. She's slim but not small-waisted. She comes with stick-on tattoos.

I honestly hadn't thought about body-image issues for a long time. But then I met with the German mother of an anorexic student. It wasn't about getting her treatment or anything - I am not that kind of counselor. She wanted to find out more about how her daughter could apply to U.S. universities. But then this attractive 50-ish woman told me how much she has learned from her daughter's illness. She said that now she can recognize how it looks - the control, the lack of confidence, the new reality the girl builds for herself - she sees it all over town.

And I thought body image issues were just an American problem. I guess I assume that unhealthy complexes and pop culture pandemics all come from Barbie and Coca-Cola and Hollywood.

I confess: I have never been on a diet. I realize that this is not normal. I do exercise an unusual amount, getting antsy and short-tempered if I can't move around enough. And, due to a permanent bulge in my middle, I have been asked three times whether I was pregnant. That was awkward. If it happens a fourth time I'll tell you all about it.

In my old job, I used to go into the jail and the hospital drug treatment unit, making sure not to expose any unnecessary skin and gaining a new appreciation for the full coverage of scrubs and head scarves. It was a nurse in scrubs who once looked me up and down as she buzzed me on to the chemical dependency floor who greeted me with "I hate skinny people." I thought about responding with "I hate fat people." But it would not have been true, and that would have been politically incorrect. I think me and my skinny legs just kept walking.

Working around teenagers does make me rethink my outfits. While I don't wish for scrubs any more, I do sometimes wonder if anyone will notice that my pants are from 2008. There are few creatures on Earth more fashionable than teenage girls with money. There are few people more observant, and more honest, than kids.

German Barbie in dirndl

Compared to what women wear in Germany, American clothing in not only causal, it's conservative and sometimes even frumpy. Germans wear tighter pants and shorter skirts and nicer boots.  Germans aren't as stylish as the French or as feminine as the Poles or as provocative as the Russians. But there are no tankinis in Germany. There are no yoga pants at the grocery store and no running shoes on the airplane.

I guess Barbie has her niche here in the land of blue eyes, long blonde hair and lower rates of obesity. It's not so crazy to think that some German girls want to look like her.
Barbie also has a dirndl in her closet.

Will Lamilly and her normal-sized thighs beat out Barbie in hair-pulling cat fight to become the doll of the future? I know one grandmother-in-waiting who sure hopes so.