Naming rights

Earlier this week, I read a news story about parents in Tennessee who wanted to name their baby boy Messiah. Somehow this case made it to court, where a judge forbade the parents to use the name Messiah. Her reasoning was that the child would face unneeded scorn and social difficulty by sharing a name with the Big Guy.  The judge ordered the parents to name their baby Martin instead (the mom's last name is Martin).

The parents are not happy and the story made big news. Probably, the case will be appealed to a higher court where another judge will tell the parents that they can name their kid whatever name they like, including Messiah, Jesus, Mohammed, or Microwave. In the United States, you can name name your kid whatever you like. So whether you like Messiah or Tequila - go for it. That's what freedom is all about.

In Germany, however, that's not the case. There are rules.
1. The name must reflect the sex of the child
2. The name must not endanger the child's well-being in any way
Your baby's name must be approved by the local authorities before they will issue a birth certificate. In order to guide your choice, the government recommends that parents choose from a list. It's a book actually, called something like the 'manual of first names'.

While us Americans might be shocked at this sort of regulation ("what? I can't name a kid McKenzie, Adolf Hitler or Twinkle Toes?"), maybe the Germans have good intentions. They want to keep your kid from having to answer that awkward male/female question, or from getting teased too much in school. Germany is not the only country with laws like this. In New Zealand, a name cannot be unreasonably long. In Denmark, 15-20% of baby names are rejected because they are not on the list.

Our friends Serena and Ed, both Americans, got to know this law very well. Their baby Madeline was born in May. They named her Madeline Newman Mott*. Serena's maiden name is Newman, so it seemed like a good choice to me. The Hannover authorities did not agree. There isn't an option for middle names on the German birth certificate, but you can have multiple first names. Last names aren't allowed to be used as first names, unless you have two first names first, and then a last name as another first name after that. Got it? So Madeline Marie Newman Mott would have been ok, but that's not the name they wanted. Ed and Serena had to get a letter from the U.S. embassy, explaining that using a family name as a middle name is a common custom for Americans, and Germany should make an exception for little Madeline.

This seems like an appropriate topic because I feel like 30% of the people I have ever met in my life are having babies this year. That means by next year they will buy SUVs (the Americans) or at least SUV-quality strollers (the Germans) and move to the suburbs (everyone).

As for the judge in Tennessee, maybe she'd be happier in Germany where she could better protect parents from making bad decisions. After all, freedom means being able to name your daughter Sunshine and your son Jedi, or you can name either one of them Taylor. If they get laughed at in school, we'll all know who to blame.


*Names slightly changed to protect the innocent from Google searches