Not defeated, just confused

It's been a long time since I have been defeated by Germany. I haven't shed tears or been completely embarrassed by the opponent for a while. There was one time I came close - Just before Christmas I fled from a fancy boutique (if I'd known it was that fancy I never would have gone in), because the sales person decided to try having a conversation with me. My vocabulary concerning designer purses and scarves was failing me, so I just shut up and ducked out of there before I unknowingly bought an 80 euro keychain.

But even though my pride has stayd mostly intact, I can't say I understand everything that the Germans do. And knowing your enemy is half the battle.

Here are two incidents of German behavior in public that have baffled me lately:
On Sunday, Brian and I were riding our bikes (yes, it's been warm enough for a long bike ride - take that Midwest) down a narrow road. Another bike was coming toward us and just ahead a woman was getting out of a parked car. There was not room for all of us and the open car door. So we braked, the other bike swerved, and the woman just sauntered out as if no one was around. "This situations warrants somebody saying something," Brian commented. Exactly - how about an excuse me? a go right ahead? a watch out? a wave? anything? No - total silence and zero eye contact. It reminded me of someone with a shopping cart stops in the middle of the produce aisle, and doesn't notice you trying to get by because he is inspecting the cucumbers for evidence of bruises (yes, this person is a he sometimes too). Instead of saying 'excuse me, can I get past', people either find a small opening and charge on through, or more often stand there silently and wait.

You'd think that the longer I live here the less I'd notice these things. On the contrary - now that I know enough German to say 'pardon me, do you mind looking up from your cucumber to let me by', this behavior annoys me even more.

And a totally opposite situation - on Friday I was waiting in a little cafe for my friend Serena. In the U.S. we call them 'restaurants' or 'coffee shops'. Cafes, as far as I can tell, are something in between. This is how I can tell I live in Europe, in case I forget, which I sometimes do. That and all the men walking around in scarves. Anyway, an old man walks in, looks at me, and says "you're sitting in my spot". I am totally confused. This man is a stranger and he's not only making eye contact but speaking to me in a public place. I understood exactly what he said. And I am not sure (you never can be with German humor), but I think he made a joke. He then told me that he always sits in that very chair because it backs up to the radiator and is very warm. He refused when I offered to move, saw my book on the table, and asked what I was reading. I cannot explain this behavior. Maybe he was actually Dutch, or Polish, or half Canadian. Or maybe it's just because he is over seventy and no longer cares about social customs. No matter the reason, it made me happy. I like friendly people, and I like it when I can understand the friendly things they say. When Serena showed up, we moved and gave him his table back. He ordered a hot milk with honey and read the newspaper.

It's too early in the war to say whether I can win. When will Germany beat me again? Probably a week from Tuesday. I am not defeated now, but the enemy keeps coming up with surprises.

Or maybe I am my own enemy.  Maybe my biggest obstacle to being a superstar expatriate is my own self-doubt.